Haven’t heard of Jojoba? OMG, seriously, I love you. But, for those who have not heard Emer Kirrane‘s (slightly frightening) plots regarding Jojoba, here’s the backstory.

It started in late 2010, with a random DM from Emer (aka @Exxx on Twitter) informing me: Hey, I just realised when I read your surname [Hinojosa] my brain reads it as Jojoba.

Chuckle, chuckle. Never thought much of it.

Next followed random Jojoba references. (Apparently it replaced my name…) Then others joined in. (They need no encouragement!)

Soon after, I was notified about the ultimate Jojoba campaign goal. And then I became afraid.

This campaign was advertised to the world in Emer’s “Silly-Season” interview of me. Or, as I call it, her recruiting minions.(For the record, read the other interviews too. The psychosis doesn’t just end with mine.)

At this point, I had two choices. 1) Hide terrified under my bed of a tiny Oirish lass, or 2) Embrace it. So … I added @jojoba to my Twitter repertoire.

eMetrics San Francisco, 2011

Notice the goal of “Jojoba introduced as such at 2011 conference”? Oh yeah. Let me explain how that one went.

1. I was fortunate enough to be the winner of the Web Analytics Association “Rising Star” award at the 2011 WAA Awards Gala, held during eMetrics. Of course, that announcement included a chant of “Jojoba, Jojoba, Jojoba!” by certain individuals who will remain nameless. (Though trust me, their names have been shared with the appropriate hitman.)

2. Apparently evil enjoys company, because on the third day, not only were a number of individuals wearing these, but I was presented with one … on stage … (Thank you for encouraging the crazies, Jim.)









3. And a little icing on the cake … Thanks Adam Greco and Rudi Shumpert for asking the question, “What is a Jojoba? What is an Emer?”






Now, silly me would have thought that eMetrics spelled the end of this. Alas, Emer “Evil” Kirrane has more endurance than one would have ever thought. (But don’t worry. She’s lovely, really. When you don’t want to kill her…)

Jojojoba: Getting festive with it

One last thing …

Wondering what the hell is up with “Jojojoba”? (The extra “Jo”?) Yeah, that’s “ho-ho-ho”, for the holiday season. The official rules dictate that Jojojoba is only available for use over the holiday season, and ends on 12/31 of each year. Uh, yeah … Don’t blame me for this. I didn’t make these rules … Though I did watch in amazement as they were discussed and set out via Twitter.

So given this isn’t apparently going anywhere (sigh) I might as well sign off like this …

– Jojoba

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